Seven years ago, we moved to Wauwatosa to start residency and a new life. Things were awesome! No more books, no more tests, we had a little bit of money and a house, and we had a whole hell of a lot of dental insurance!
My wife and I shopped around and decided to start up with a new local dentist. The dentist, Dr. Z, was very gregarious and friendly. His staff was also really helpful: from Marin the hygienist to Kitty the receptionist, everyone we met at this office was very happy. Our teeth were clean. Life was good.
Then Kitty left and was replaced by Tammy at the reception desk. It was downhill from there. Whereas Kitty was always helpful, Tammy was incompetent. We'd call to make an appointment only to be met with resistance and confusion. An example: I'd call to say I needed a dental cleaning and that I was available most Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and Tammy would always reply with "We have availability on Wednesday at 4". I'd cite a personal family emergency as a reason to change an appointment a week ahead of time and Tammy would state, "Cancelling an appointment is highly irregular." Weird. Incompetent and weird.
The final showdown was when my wife developed sudden tooth pain and needed to be seen quickly. She left countless messages at Dr. Z's office on a machine with Tammy's grinding digital voice, none of which were ever returned. When my wife was finally able to connect with Tammy on a Thursday about her serious dental pain, the annoying receptionist replied "We have availability on Wednesday at 4". My wife begged and pleaded, "No you don't understand, I'm in agony! I need to be seen for emergency dental care. I can come any day at any time. Just please don't make me wait a week!" Tammy dryly replied, "We have availability on Wednesday at 4".
Ultimately, my wife left Dr. Z for another dental practice. She needed a root canal and they were able to get her in quickly. She says that the furniture and reading material in the waiting room is very nice. My wife really wants me to switch dentists, too. But I can't. I don't do change well. And Tammy never actually offended me. I can't leave Dr. Z. Not like that.
So for the past three years, every single time I go for my biannual teeth cleaning, Marin the hygienist will say, "We sure haven't seen your wife in a while." She says this with the greatest amount of sincere concern for my wife's dental health. I always try my best to play the aloof, asshole husband: "Oh yeah, I'm not sure why she hasn't been back. . .she's so busy." How can I tell Dr. Z that my wife is cheating on him with another dentist?!
Answering machine messages. Reminder cards. Countless communications to our home tell my wife that Dr. Z is waiting for her. . .longing for her. Does my wife call back? No. Does she write to say she's got another man's hands in her mouth? No. She just kicks back and wallows in her spite. And allows me to continue this terrible charade.
But this past dental visit was just too much. I couldn't take it anymore. Marin asked me twice how my wife was doing. She told me that she feared for my wife's teeth: "We haven't seen her in sooooo long!" Again I played dumb, but at the end of the visit and in front of Dr. Z, Marin pulled up my wife's file on the computer: "We haven't seen your wife since July 21, 2010. That's way too long!" I couldn't do it. I confessed. I told Dr. Z and Marin that my wife had gone to another dentist because Tammy the receptionist was such a cold-hearted, vacuous nothing.
Dr. Z couldn't speak. He just sniffed a little and looked at his feet. Marin glibly stated, "We'll make a note of it. Thank you for letting us know."
I broke my dentist's heart last night. Not by my own deeds. But rather because my wife is a coward.
I remember the parts about love, honor and obey in the wedding vows. But I don't remember anything about carrying one's spouse's dental water.
My wife and I shopped around and decided to start up with a new local dentist. The dentist, Dr. Z, was very gregarious and friendly. His staff was also really helpful: from Marin the hygienist to Kitty the receptionist, everyone we met at this office was very happy. Our teeth were clean. Life was good.
Then Kitty left and was replaced by Tammy at the reception desk. It was downhill from there. Whereas Kitty was always helpful, Tammy was incompetent. We'd call to make an appointment only to be met with resistance and confusion. An example: I'd call to say I needed a dental cleaning and that I was available most Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and Tammy would always reply with "We have availability on Wednesday at 4". I'd cite a personal family emergency as a reason to change an appointment a week ahead of time and Tammy would state, "Cancelling an appointment is highly irregular." Weird. Incompetent and weird.
The final showdown was when my wife developed sudden tooth pain and needed to be seen quickly. She left countless messages at Dr. Z's office on a machine with Tammy's grinding digital voice, none of which were ever returned. When my wife was finally able to connect with Tammy on a Thursday about her serious dental pain, the annoying receptionist replied "We have availability on Wednesday at 4". My wife begged and pleaded, "No you don't understand, I'm in agony! I need to be seen for emergency dental care. I can come any day at any time. Just please don't make me wait a week!" Tammy dryly replied, "We have availability on Wednesday at 4".
Ultimately, my wife left Dr. Z for another dental practice. She needed a root canal and they were able to get her in quickly. She says that the furniture and reading material in the waiting room is very nice. My wife really wants me to switch dentists, too. But I can't. I don't do change well. And Tammy never actually offended me. I can't leave Dr. Z. Not like that.
So for the past three years, every single time I go for my biannual teeth cleaning, Marin the hygienist will say, "We sure haven't seen your wife in a while." She says this with the greatest amount of sincere concern for my wife's dental health. I always try my best to play the aloof, asshole husband: "Oh yeah, I'm not sure why she hasn't been back. . .she's so busy." How can I tell Dr. Z that my wife is cheating on him with another dentist?!
Answering machine messages. Reminder cards. Countless communications to our home tell my wife that Dr. Z is waiting for her. . .longing for her. Does my wife call back? No. Does she write to say she's got another man's hands in her mouth? No. She just kicks back and wallows in her spite. And allows me to continue this terrible charade.
But this past dental visit was just too much. I couldn't take it anymore. Marin asked me twice how my wife was doing. She told me that she feared for my wife's teeth: "We haven't seen her in sooooo long!" Again I played dumb, but at the end of the visit and in front of Dr. Z, Marin pulled up my wife's file on the computer: "We haven't seen your wife since July 21, 2010. That's way too long!" I couldn't do it. I confessed. I told Dr. Z and Marin that my wife had gone to another dentist because Tammy the receptionist was such a cold-hearted, vacuous nothing.
Dr. Z couldn't speak. He just sniffed a little and looked at his feet. Marin glibly stated, "We'll make a note of it. Thank you for letting us know."
I broke my dentist's heart last night. Not by my own deeds. But rather because my wife is a coward.
I remember the parts about love, honor and obey in the wedding vows. But I don't remember anything about carrying one's spouse's dental water.