As good Catholics should, we take our two year old son to Mass every week. He loves "go to Church." We sit in the second to last row so as to make easy emergency exits. He has a good friend -- a woman in her mid-60s who sits in the last row and flirts with him the entire time. When he's bad, we "go see baby Jesus" -- a nativity scene in one of the crying rooms. Concisely: we have a routine.
I'm not sure how much my son is getting out of the Holy Eucharist, though. His basic gameplan for 5 o'clock Mass is as follows:
4:59 - make entire congregation aware of stained glass windows by shouting "colors"
5:00 - opening hymn: demand raisins
5:00 -5:20 - Liturgy of the Word: demand more raisins, create ambiance in his diaper for all worshipers to share in for the remainder of the service, empty contents of Mommy's purse, eat raisins spilled on floor (possibly from last week's Mass)
5:20 - 5:30 - Homily: echo the priest's words loudly; examples include: "Jesus!" and "sinners!"
5:30 - 5:45 - Liturgy of the Eucharist: freak out while Mommy and Daddy are kneeling, pull Daddy's beard, shout "bathroom!" when he hears the faint sound of the toilet flushing in the foyer at the exact moment of the consecration when all the congregation is quiet
5:50 - object vigorously when trusty side-kick stuffed orange monster is left in the pew as we walk up front for Communion, shout "Jesus!" as he points at the Crucifix, almost knocking the host out of the Priest's hands
5:55 - refuse to put his coat on while we try to leave Church discretely before Mass is over
6:00 - asks "time for pizza?"
Blessed is the child.
I'm not sure how much my son is getting out of the Holy Eucharist, though. His basic gameplan for 5 o'clock Mass is as follows:
4:59 - make entire congregation aware of stained glass windows by shouting "colors"
5:00 - opening hymn: demand raisins
5:00 -5:20 - Liturgy of the Word: demand more raisins, create ambiance in his diaper for all worshipers to share in for the remainder of the service, empty contents of Mommy's purse, eat raisins spilled on floor (possibly from last week's Mass)
5:20 - 5:30 - Homily: echo the priest's words loudly; examples include: "Jesus!" and "sinners!"
5:30 - 5:45 - Liturgy of the Eucharist: freak out while Mommy and Daddy are kneeling, pull Daddy's beard, shout "bathroom!" when he hears the faint sound of the toilet flushing in the foyer at the exact moment of the consecration when all the congregation is quiet
5:50 - object vigorously when trusty side-kick stuffed orange monster is left in the pew as we walk up front for Communion, shout "Jesus!" as he points at the Crucifix, almost knocking the host out of the Priest's hands
5:55 - refuse to put his coat on while we try to leave Church discretely before Mass is over
6:00 - asks "time for pizza?"
Blessed is the child.